It’s not a sensation, it’s the truth
By Camilla Podini
It’s not a good sensation, but sometimes it insinuates, it knocks and it comes. It lasts for a moment, for a day and then it disappears or becomes a certainty. Being wrong. Wrong school, wrong university, wrong boyfriend, wrong girlfriend, wrong friends, everything. It’s a terrible sensation, bitterness and disappointment, a mix of rage and fear which makes us cry and be afraid. It happens when we’re stressed because of tests, exams, family problems. And sometimes it’s not a sensation, it is the truth.
How difficult is to admit it was the wrong choice, even if it seemed the best one. It was not the right school, or worse, the right person. How could we know when our impressions are right? How could we know if our choices are right? An impression is not true because we feel it, but it becomes true over time. Time will tell us if what we thought was true or false. And the question which helps us is: ‘Am I happy about this situation?’ Being happy doesn’t mean being without problems or suffering, it means growing up and being more grateful, more and happier. If there’s no freedom, there’s no truth too.
We should be honest to admit the truth, to give up, to cry, to change. Why certain things happen? Why don’t we understand if a way is right or wrong? If a person is sincere or not? The answer is simple: our heart is hungry. Hungry of good, hungry of justice, hungry of kindness. And sometimes it makes us blinding, doesn’t let us know if what we feel at night, for a week or for a month is good, fertile or it is just an illusion. We forget that our desire won’t end in a face or in a choice. It lasts forever. Our enemies are the people or the choices which make us die inside and stop wishing. In those situations, crying or suffering, the best thing is to admit we were wrong. It’s the first step, the first dawn of a new day, a new day to start saying again ‘I’.